You are a butcher; not a doctor. You are a serial killer. The only thing is that you don't 'physically' kill your victims. You destroy the very core of the women you butcher and leave them alive to suffer for the rest of their lives. And, you do it under the guise of 'medicine'. You are a very sick man. I don't know how you live with yourself. How do you sleep at night? I can't sleep at night since you butchered me. In fact, I can't do any of the things I could once do before you butchered me.
I did not consent to removal of anything the day of surgery. But even two days prior to surgery, I did not consent to removal of anything oher than my uterus. You know that. At my pre-surgery meeting with you, I plainly told you that I did not want my healthy ovaries or any other of my healthy female organs removed. I did not want my uterus removed either but you finally convinced me to allow it. You told me that it served no purpose other than to carry a baby and that it was the cause of my swollen abdomen. You assured me that I would be wearing maternity clothes for the rest of my life if I did not allow you to remove my uterus.
You agreed with me about not removing my ovaries and said "it would be better not to remove them and err on the side of caution". You told me that they could always be removed, but not put back in once taken. I signed a consent form in your office for removal of uterus only; not even possible removal of any other organ.
Then, the day of my sugery, a nurse at the hospital presented me with a 'new' consent form to sign - one which allowed for removal of all six of my female organs. I refused to sign the form and told the nurse that it was not the surgery you and I had agreed to only two days earlier. I asked to speak to you. You never came to my room.
I was put to sleep without being told and you performed the surgery I refused to sign for. I later learned that once I was 'knocked out', my mother was told to sign for the surgery since I was already asleep. Of course, my mother did not realize that she was doing anything wrong because they did not tell her that I had refused to sign the form only minutes earlier or that she had no legal right to sign any consent form on my behalf. The hospital nurse knew better though. She knew that my mother did not have any legal right or authority to sign for my surgery; an 'elective' surgery no less.
You illegally stole my organs. You had no right. You are a criminal. What you did was a criminal act. Yet, I cannot file criminal charges because you are a doctor and this horrific crime took place in a hospital. If some guy on the street knocked me out and took six of my organs; I guarantee I could file criminal charges.
I woke up from surgery a different person. I was no longer the woman God made me; the woman I had been for 46 years. You completely destroyed my chemical and hormonal balance and placed my physical, mental and spirital health and safety at immediate risk forever. I wanted to die. I told the nurse that I wanted to die. Becaue of you, I will never be the same woman. I have no control over my own body, emotions or sexuality now.
I feel completely empty inside in a way I can't explain to anyone. My feelings for my family and friends have changed. Worst of all, my natural maternal feelings are gone. You cut those out of me. My emotions are now flat and dull. Life has lost it's meaning. Dr. Stanley West (author of "Hysterecomy Hoax" wrote "...this is much more than the blues; it is serious enough to require hospitalization for some women, lengthy couseling and drug treatment". Who is going to pay for that? I can't. I can't even work now. I have no energy. I am in a constant state of chronic fatigue. I have chronic joint and muslce pain now that I never had before the surgery. You aged me at least 20 years in an instant. I don't know if I will ever recover enough to work again; enough to be able to take care of myself. I owe child support for two children who live with their father. I won't even be allowed to see them if I can't or don't pay the court-ordered child support. Are you going to pay it for me? You have taken everything that is good and precious from me.
I have lost a lot of my vision due to the formation of cataracts since my surgery. I had no idea that going blind would be a consequence to hysterectomy. I've been told by several eye doctors that I will require surgery to replace my lenses now due to the loss of estrogen to my own. I have thyroid antibodies now also. I did not know that my thyroid gland has estrogen receptors. It is little wonder that my body is now rejecting my thyroid gland. My bladder and bowels are falling out too which will require additional surgeries. You didn't bother to explain to me that you would be removing my pelvic support system and that my remaining organs would become displaced.
My vagina has been shortened and sewn closed at the top. It has also completely atrophied. I have no sensation left anywhere in my vaginal area. It's dead. I have so many health issues that I can't list them all. I had none before I met you. I'm at risk for bone loss, muscle mass loss, heart disease, lung cancer, dementia, Parkinson's disease... the list is endless.
There is no subsitute for the natural hormones my creator and Lord gave me. I need my female organs in order to live. You had no right; no authority to take them. You stole the very organs that defined my gender. I don't know who I am now. I no longer feel female. The loss of my sexuality is beyond devestating. There are no words.... You castrated and mutilated me against my will and without my consent. Worst of all, there was no medical reason for what you did. All of my female organs were healthy and you took them.
You took my sexuality away forever. I have to live the rest of my life feeling dead sexually. I had hoped to remarry and have a wonderful sexual relationship again. Now, that will never happen for me; not ever. According to Dr. West "no physician today can assure any woman that hysterectomy will not affect her sex life". Yet, you assured me that it would not affect mine. You laughed when I asked you about sexual consequences. You said "I'm not operating on your brain". You took the very organs that made sex and sexual pleasure even possible. You lied.
I live with constant 'flashbacks' of what happened the day you took my organs. I constantly hear the nurse telling me "You have nothing left". I wanted to die that day and I still want to die. Nothing has changed and it never will. I can't face the future you decided for me. It's horrifying...
Dr. West also states in his book "the consequences of losing your ovaries cannot be overstated. The removal of ovaries might be justifiable if it were not for the fact that without ovaries, a woman will forever be at higher risk for both osteoporosis and heart disease". Forever is a very long time.
I still remember how you laughed when I asked you about replacing my hormones if I were to allow you to take my ovaries. You said "I will simply put back what I take away". According to Dr. West and various other medical journals and literature from the past century, hormone replacement does not bring hormone levels back to where they were before surgery. Hormone replacement cannot compensate for the natural hormones the female organs produce. Again, you lied.
I will never be the person I was before I met you - NEVER. I will never feel safe again. How could I? The very person who took an oath to "do no harm" stole all of my healthy female organs. You castrated me. You harmed me in the worst possible way a person can be harmed. I live in fear now because of you and what you did to me. I fear my future most of all. I can't face it. I can't; not after what you've done to me.
I'm deeply depressed and suicidal. In fact, I have decided to commit suicide today because I cannot accept the horror of what you have done to me. I do not want to live in the body you left me with. I feel like an alien in my own body. The loss is too profound to express in this letter or in type or in any way for that matter. I have lost what it means to be human; the ability to feel emotions and feel connected. I have decided to hang myself. That way, there will be no chance that I will survive.
I am leaving this letter for my family to give to you. I want you to know that you are the reason I am dead. I want you to know that you are the reason a beautiful, warm, loving, caring woman and mother is dead. You and you alone are to blame. You will answer for what you have done to me and countless other women I'm sure. God will take it up with you. You can know that. And, when he does, you may wish you were dead too.
According to "The Hysterectomy Hoax" written by Stanley West, M.D. "The incidence of post-hysterectomy depression appears relatively widespread. Psychiatrists tell us that some women are more likely than others to become depressed after hysterectomy. The woman's personal or family history of depression is a strong risk factor, as is her belief that sex will be less welcome or pleasurable or that her husband or lover will react negatively. Women who equate their identity with their femininity may also run into trouble."
"While these psychological factors may be true in some cases, recent research suggests that post-hysterectomy depression is rooted in bio-chemistry. The hormonal disruptions brought on by the surgery can be far-reaching; affecting the nerve and hormone interactions responsible for a sense of emotional well-being. One theory holds that the hormonal disruptions affect substances called beta endorphins, which are associated with feelings of well-being. These substances act in the body as natural pain killers and play a number of important roles. Their everyday role in maintaining well-being is vastly important. Below normal beta endorphins are associated with depression."
"Recent research shows that endorphin levels are influenced by a change in the levels of the ovarian hormones estrogen and progesterone. This may explain why depression develops when the ovaries are removed or cease to function after hysterectomy."
"Another possible explanation for the depression that follows hysterectomy stems from the fact that when the ovaries are removed, a woman loses half her normal supply of androgen, the hormone responsible for her sex drive. Androgen also contributes to feelings of well-being and to energy levels."
"Whatever the cause, depression is all too frequent following hysterectomy. This illness is much more than a bout of 'the blues'. Many affected women require hospitalization, lengthy counseling and drug treatment. Depression affects your sleep, your weight, your energy and your concentration and should be taken very seriously."
I decided to share this letter with you on my site because I believe that many women have committed suicide due to the consequences suffered after hysterectomy; consequences neither they nor their families were told about or understood.
It is estimated that as many as 50% to 73% of women become depressed after hysterectomy; many of them no doubt become suicidal as well.
There are things families can do to help a woman who has been hysterectomized and violated.
The most critical thing you can do if you love and care about a woman who has been hysterectomized is to understand and realize that she is not the same woman as she was before the surgery and never will be and that it is not her fault. Since hysterectomy is seldom done for true medical reasons, a hysterectomized woman is too often a 'victim'.
Also, understand and realize that she may never be able to 'pull herself together' as she could in the past.
Hysterectomy is not just a 'trauma'. It is a life-changing surgery that cannot be reversed. It brings about physical, mental and spiritual change that cannot be helped with medicine.
It is critical that women and their families understand how serious hysterectomy-induced depression can be and what it can lead to.
For more information on hysterectomy, hormones and suicide, click here.